But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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