I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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