he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
