I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
