you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
only you would photoshop your dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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