Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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