They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
