is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
