Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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