So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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