My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
