I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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