He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
