New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
