this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
