i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
