I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
