I'm jealous of your bromance
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
