I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
