there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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