WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
