My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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