Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
