my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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