If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorry my hands just texted you
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
