yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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