i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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