Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
be right there i have to get my cape
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize