you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
