im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
