Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
