that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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