I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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