You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
