So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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