On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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