I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
