Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
