Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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