I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
