I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
