You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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