i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
