yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
