Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
