thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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