Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
