I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
