I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
as a side note pls kill me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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