If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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