Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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