Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
