atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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