wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
