I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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