she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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