You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
