She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
