I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
