You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
