just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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