It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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