I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize