that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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